With a message to my best friend last night telling her I wished I was dead, I spent some time thinking about what it was that truly made me hate myself and not want to live. I have been neglecting my family, and I was confronted about it by my brother and my mother yesterday. It all just made me angry.
I know I said I wouldn’t post about this again, but new information has shed some light.
After admitting some strong feelings to my ex, who did not respond, I heard from him. After a 2 week conversation prior to any of this – I believed he was leaving for Afghanistan on July, 2nd and as it turns out – he’s hanging out nicely in USA. Whether he is going or not, I don’t know.