Slow and Steady Wins The Race

I know I am hard on myself. I am always angry at myself for some or other reason and I just can’t find it in me to relax and enjoy… whatever.

It’s been almost a year since I’ve been trying to do something about my weight. At most, I had lost 16 kilograms. At present, I am 12 kilograms lighter. If you’ve been following my rants about my perfectly average life, you will notice I’ve been struggling since LITERALLY January, 2nd.

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The Respect That I Deserve

I am going home in just over five months. This month has flown by, but that’s what happens. This is my third year in Korea and after the first six months of your twelve month contract, the time just flies. I’m thankful and, of course, cannot wait to go home because I haven’t been in more than a year and a half.

But, as the time draws near, so does the stress. Yes, I have loose ends to start tying up but I have made myself a plan for when I go home in March. It all seems pretty organised. I do, however, feel not only excited to go home, but anxious. When I started losing weight, my family had shown such pride and respect for me. It was, of course, a good thing.

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Lost Faith in Myself

When you become responsible and accountable for your life and your own actions, life seems to be a lot harder. It was easy for me to act recklessly and suffer the brunt of it weeks or months later. It was like a down pour of me hating myself and the things that I’d done but it was easy to get back on that destructive path.

I have been so hard on myself. I’ve tried (and successfully) changed my life – some aspects, drastically and others, not so drastically, but when it comes down to the night or activity where I act in an old manner, I immediately hate myself.

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Self Sabotage

There are a few things on my mind recently. Everyday, I become more ~human~ than I was the day before. That is not to say I never felt emotions – I did, and very strongly. I still do. But everyday I am figuring myself out.

I feel ashamed to admit that I have spent half my life abusing alcohol and cigarettes. (That which makes you  seem so cool when you’re younger). That, I spent more than half my life abusing my body with terrible food and thinking that I could do it without consequence.

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Day 8 – Energised, But Sad

I’ve successfully completed my first week back on my path to a healthy life. I have been drinking Herbalife 2x a day and eating vegetables, low fat dairy, nuts, lean protein and fruit. I’ve been drinking water like it’s my job and I am down 9 pounds.

This journey is not only about weight loss. I felt it was my time to make myself happy again. I started blogging more, keeping healthy with diet and exercise, reading and sharing things that inspire me, getting great sleep, setting aside ‘me’ time and doing nice things for people.

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Let Me Tell You What Is Wrong With Online Dating

I’d never attempt an online dating site until I got to South Korea. Before then, online dating was something old people did to find love. I also had never considered online dating because I was such a mess and having too much fun doing things that were unhealthy for me. I didn’t realise there was such a massive market for it.

In South Korea, these sites are slathered with American military, some English teachers and then, of course, Koreans. OKCupid, which is more profile based, extensive and I suppose more of a media to have meaningful conversations, if you will.

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