I am utterly exhausted today. Mentally and emotionally. I spent one to two hours crying so hard, that I’m embarrassed to see my neighbour. I know that this space is for my rantings, but I just don’t feel like going into the details of last night.
I am starting to date.
I am going to find a decent man.
A few weeks ago, my best friend told me that she was taking a break from eating well and exercise because she’d associated eating bad food with feelings of guilt. I didn’t quite understand it when she told me that, yet found myself feeling those exact same feelings a little while later.
I wish I didn’t constantly obsess about my weight and the way I look.
I wish I would stop imagining what people were thinking about how I look.
I am not very adventurous when it comes to food. I usually eat the same things, prepared differently. It works for me. I usually don’t get sick of eating the same foods – but there are times where I do need a change. For example, courgettes (zucchini) – which I ate with dinner every day, and soon became very tired of.
When starting to change my lifestyle in Korea, I felt a bit overwhelmed. I usually tend to doubt myself in general, and being in this foreign country – I never quite felt confident that what I was eating or doing was, in fact, healthy and good for me. Most brands are Korean with food labels in Korean, too – so, most of the time I just stuck to what I knew.
I’m almost half way at goal weight and I’m feeling AMAZING. Before/after photo below:
I praise, worship and appreciate the Lord.
I am thin, healthy and happy.
My family and friends are all healthy and happy.
I love my friends and they love me.
My life has changed drastically over the last three weeks. I changed cities and jobs and with that, have come along more opportunities and obstacles. I’m in a great new city and my flat is much bigger. It’s right in the centre of down town, too – which is amazingly useful and convenient.