Wishy Washy Blog Babbles

I’ve been laying in bed for the last hour, unable to sleep. I woke up with a slight hangover which was bearable, but more importantly – a scratchy throat which is annoying me. My eyes are heavy, and even though I cannot sleep – I am tired.

I unblocked and checked out an old friend of mines’s Facebook page tonight. This is someone who played a very important role in my life for about six months. We became very close very quickly, and it did not end well. Regardless, it made me think about the beginning of this year (when we met).

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Out of Control

I am simply, put out, of control. I’ve lost control over my eating, routine, my health and commitment. I cannot believe I am back in this place. After taking a new turn in which I felt good about myself, did everything in a way that was healthy for me and took pride in myself, I feel like I am that girl that I had been for 24 years of my life – Lost, overweight, not caring about weight, eating or exercise. How did I get back here?

Not all is lost, I still have that desire, I still incorporate good foods in my diet at least 85% of the time and I do go to the gym, I just spend the other 15% of the day getting take out and not exercising. I am back the point where I get fast food nearly every day and my body is getting used to it. Before, I would feel sick after that food – now, I can eat it and still more. This makes me so sad.

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