I am simply, put out, of control. I’ve lost control over my eating, routine, my health and commitment. I cannot believe I am back in this place. After taking a new turn in which I felt good about myself, did everything in a way that was healthy for me and took pride in myself, I feel like I am that girl that I had been for 24 years of my life – Lost, overweight, not caring about weight, eating or exercise. How did I get back here?
Not all is lost, I still have that desire, I still incorporate good foods in my diet at least 85% of the time and I do go to the gym, I just spend the other 15% of the day getting take out and not exercising. I am back the point where I get fast food nearly every day and my body is getting used to it. Before, I would feel sick after that food – now, I can eat it and still more. This makes me so sad.
Continue reading “Out of Control”
With a message to my best friend last night telling her I wished I was dead, I spent some time thinking about what it was that truly made me hate myself and not want to live. I have been neglecting my family, and I was confronted about it by my brother and my mother yesterday. It all just made me angry.
Continue reading “I Just Have To Do It Because It Makes Me Happy”
I’ve had swollen glands for a week now. I spent the first half of the week feeling nauseous, dizzy, in pain and found it difficult to eat, swallow and speak. I went to the doctor and got prescribed antibiotics for 3 days, which ended on Wednesday.
Continue reading “Feeling Disgusting”
This is what my ideal day and lifestyle would be:
Wake up at 7am.
Leave for work at 7:40am.
Read 10 pages of something motivational at work.
Eat a healthy snack at 10:30am.
Continue reading “My Ideal Day Lifestyle”
Can’t believe I haven’t written anything in over a month. It’s this reminder that I am slipping (or have slipped) into my old ways. I started a lifestyle change at the end of October 2012. It involved a lot more reading, writing, eating well and exercising. Thinking positively was just the way that my mind worked.
Continue reading “Find My Way Back”
A few weeks ago, my best friend told me that she was taking a break from eating well and exercise because she’d associated eating bad food with feelings of guilt. I didn’t quite understand it when she told me that, yet found myself feeling those exact same feelings a little while later.
Continue reading “One Week of Destruction”
I am not very adventurous when it comes to food. I usually eat the same things, prepared differently. It works for me. I usually don’t get sick of eating the same foods – but there are times where I do need a change. For example, courgettes (zucchini) – which I ate with dinner every day, and soon became very tired of.
Continue reading “How I, as an Expat, am Losing Weight in South Korea”