After almost seven weeks in a brand new country, you would think that I would have a lot to say. In actuality, I’m struggling to find my words. The age old irony of the writer that has lost her words.
While I felt immense dread before coming to Spain, I naively had a thought that perhaps things would be different for me. Surely there is a place, a man, and a career out there in one or other country waiting for me to grab it? Sadly, Spain has proven to be quite a let down and truthfully… it’s all my fault.
Continue reading “Writer With Lost Words”
I felt that feeling in the upper half of my chest that I get when men break up with me. I would say it was my heart that was aching, but we all know that isn’t literally it. The feeling can only be described as a physical cry out for help, from the inside out. It’s a selfish feeling for it will not allow you not to cry – regardless of circumstances, where you are or who you are with. That feeling doesn’t care about you.
Continue reading “Powerful Right, Lesser Left”
I should have known when you persisted to call me by my childhood name that this was not going to go anywhere profound. I’m not that person anymore (or at least I’d like to think so). Something keeps pulling me back though. It was as if you know that I would be taken back to that negative train of thought and hatred for myself.
Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any better. When I thought I had figured out the secret to living a happy life – everything came crashing down. I am back to the place where I know that life isn’t about being happy, it’s about continuously searching for more.
Continue reading “One Letter Makes All The Difference”
To my body, I am sorry. I fucked up. I worked hard at respecting you and my mind. I fucked up.
Continue reading “I’m Sorry”
I’m beginning to think that I may not be able to be happy anywhere and that scares the shit out of me.
Continue reading “Beast Within”
I’ve been avoiding writing anything that sounds like a diary entry for a while now (I hate the sound of it).
Everyone thinks that I am having the best time of my life. I am happier than Korea, yes. I persist to call Korea The Hole. I am happy… I’m just… not? What would the adjective be for someone that feels happier and looks happier and sounds happier, doesn’t feel sad or depressed but is?
Continue reading “Dear Diary”
After almost three weeks, I am finally in a place that I can call ‘home’ … until July 6th.
I moved to England on June, 1st and it’s been one hell of a rollercoaster. It’s the hardest career/life move that I have ever had to do. Some might argue how that could possibly be – in Korea, everything is handed to you. Yes, you don’t understand the language or the culture but you arrive there with a job and an apartment (that your school pays for) and you earn a cushy salary.
Continue reading “Out of the Hole”