I should have known when you persisted to call me by my childhood name that this was not going to go anywhere profound. I’m not that person anymore (or at least I’d like to think so). Something keeps pulling me back though. It was as if you know that I would be taken back to that negative train of thought and hatred for myself.
Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any better. When I thought I had figured out the secret to living a happy life – everything came crashing down. I am back to the place where I know that life isn’t about being happy, it’s about continuously searching for more.
Continue reading “One Letter Makes All The Difference”
Sitting at my newly assembled desk from Amazon, that an ex helped me build two days ago (I say helped, I didn’t really do much at all) listening to my “writing music”. The music I used to put on and listen to through my headphones in Korea when the world seemed like a chaotic mess of people talking a language I didn’t understand. Somehow, it annoyed me. I hated hearing the different intonations. I hated that I understood some of it and for that reason, couldn’t block it out but instead trying to configure what they were saying all of the time. I though the world would be much better surrounded by a language you did understand.
Continue reading “Life is a Catch 22”
To my body, I am sorry. I fucked up. I worked hard at respecting you and my mind. I fucked up.
Continue reading “I’m Sorry”
in the midst of gifts i don’t say thank you
there is always something to be angry about
one thing that makes me more and more bitter
Continue reading “What I Want”
I’m beginning to think that I may not be able to be happy anywhere and that scares the shit out of me.
Continue reading “Beast Within”
I’ve been sexually abused. I’ve been emotionally abused. I’ve been neglected. By men all my life. Can’t you see that I’m trying to scream out;
Continue reading “Silent Voice”
I saw them. It was like two large shapes of black merged into one larger figure. I continued to dance and my body didn’t react until the disgust hit me and I couldn’t stand it any longer.
Continue reading “Defied”