I should have known when you persisted to call me by my childhood name that this was not going to go anywhere profound. I’m not that person anymore (or at least I’d like to think so). Something keeps pulling me back though. It was as if you know that I would be taken back to that negative train of thought and hatred for myself.
Just when I thought my life couldn’t get any better. When I thought I had figured out the secret to living a happy life – everything came crashing down. I am back to the place where I know that life isn’t about being happy, it’s about continuously searching for more.
I know that people will do anything to win or gain the upper hand. They don’t care about you or your feelings. They care about themselves because people are selfish assholes. In the process, I’ve lost my voice. Everyone is always stealing my voice so that I fade away so easily in the crowd. I’m not even a face that stands out, I’m the person in black that is hardly recognisable in the shadow.
I’m tired of hearing the same things from you though. “You deserve more” “everyone goes through it”. It’s something you say because you really don’t have the balls to say out loud what’s been going through my mind from the time that I could process meaningful thoughts.
Here’s my voice, here are my thoughts, this is what I am saying – don’t edit me, don’t change it and don’t misconstrue it. This is me.