I’ve watched men disrespect and mistreat me – be it within the space of a few hours, months, years or worse, a life time of emotional unavailability. I can’t say I’ve ever really received treatment from a man that makes me believe that he would actually do anything to keep me around.
But that’s not to say it’s not happening at all. I know that there is one woman who can make a man completely change his ways, act like a stand-up guy and do things that deem them “pussy-whipped”. I’ve seen a man that didn’t want to bend over backwards for me, paint a woman’s toolbox pink and write her poetry. There is a man that is waiting for a woman to change his life. I’m in the mood to fall in love. Lately I’ve been thinking about what it would be like to put heavy rocks in my pocket and walk into the ocean – Virginia Woolf style. I’ve never nor am I in a space that I want to or will do something of that nature, but it’s the first time I wondered what it would be like. If I could explain it to my family and have them pre-approve my decision to withhold my own breath.