I don’t like the fluctuations in my mental state, but maybe it’s just normal? I don’t really notice how happy I was until I suddenly feel like an empty vessel. At this very moment, it’s very difficult for me to articulate my feelings. Things are going very well for me. I have just finished my very last exam for my postgraduate Education, I have a pending book publishing, the weather is cool and I have just started seeing someone.
I feel a little unsure about my feelings for him because he is Korean-American and I feel like all dating conventions are different now. I never thought I’d find a Korean attractive, but he’s very cute and all I know is that I have fun when we’re together. Maybe I should just enjoy it for what it is.
I watched The Fault in our Stars yesterday and felt desensitised by the cliche even though it felt like I was so inside this movie. I loved the characters and the soundtrack – M83 – Wait – this song makes me feel like my heart is on fire. The end made me cry, surprisingly. And it was lovely.