Fat Girl in South Korea Round Four

In one week, I leave for South Korea again. I write with a heavy heart. I want to avoid the thought at all costs. I’m finding it so hard to articulate how I feel. I think it’s hard for those important to me, to understand how meaningful my words are. That, I was barely living for almost my entire life and that, everything changed while in Korea.

I finally give a shit about… everything. I love my family, I love my friends, I love everything that surrounds me in my beautiful city, the mountains, clouds, blue sky, birds, stars, rain. everything. These things meant nothing to me before. Spending time with my family was sometimes a chore.

At the end of the day, my philosophy while being home, has been to be as kind as I can. That giving is the most important thing. I want to thank the people that give me life, make me happy and do so much for me. Having 3 blissful months of happiness has been elating. I forgot how it felt. I spent a year being miserable. I fear my misery will return in Korea. But, I hope my new attitude follows me, instead. I know life will change, once again.

I realised that everyone has taken their own path in life. Whether it’s marriage, travel, studying or something else. When I left my friends last night (my farewell dinner), I never thought that ~I~ would be the friend that was brave enough to see the world. I always felt so inferior at home, as if I wasn’t capable of doing anything by myself. For that moment, I felt proud of myself.



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