Who Am I Without My Anxiety?

Today was the first time I took my prescribed anti depressants. I’ve had the flu for the last four days, so on top of my prescription, the doctor gave me some flu medicine. I told him I did not want an antibiotic and thus, I got an over the counter pill for colds and flu that apparently cause drowsiness. I started my day off well. I took both pills and went to work. Although, suddenly I felt very drowsy and a bit out of it. I felt worried, I did not like the feeling at all. I would close my eyes to take away the feeling of eyes wanting to close.

Tomorrow, I will not take the cold medicine. I am a bit nervous that it’s the anti depressants making me feel that way, and I sincerely hope it is not. I’ve given it some thought and I am wondering what will change once the pills come into effect. The doctor said I can then be the person I am, but I’ve read that taking these kinds of pills makes you feel numb. I’ve said for a long time that I would do anything to feel numb and not feel all of this anxiety and strong emotion. I was under the impression these pills would make me feel happier. At this point, I don’t really know what to expect. I don’t know my life outside of anxiety. I am nervous to see what kind of person I am without it.

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Korea, Love and Longing

South African with a passion for writing, photography... and nothing much else. I travel the world in order to find the country I like the best. Four years in South Korea makes me a winning survivor of Google translate and charades. Currently, living in Spain. - Love

5 thoughts on “Who Am I Without My Anxiety?”

  1. I get very tired taking cold medicines. If I take them before I go to bed, then I have a very difficult time trying to get up the next morning. Maybe they’ll work as prescribed once your cold passes.

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