It’s January, 1st – finally. To think, one year ago today, I woke up in the Hilton Hotel after having the worst date ever. The next day, I had a job interview – that I got and am currently working at now and then I took a plane to Jeju Island, where I worked at a winter camp and met a man that I was semi infatuated with, yet later would learn, would be a big source of anguish, pain and anger (not necessarily in a romantic way).
This is the first New Years Eve in about eight years, I stayed at home and did not drink. In fact, I feel asleep before 12, waking up at 11:45pm. I did not think the clock striking 12 would be so emotional for me, but I cried. I spent the last 15 minutes of 2013 thinking about all the shit I was leaving behind in that year and I felt good. I wanted that horrible mess to be thoughts of that year and not of the new one. When it went 12, I was in bed. I could hear a few cheers and a few moments later, some fireworks – that I wish I could of seen, too. I was happy to say “I am going HOME this year” – after not being in South Africa for 2 years now. I can finally say, my work contract will end NEXT month and soon, I’ll be taking my deserved holiday in Thailand and then hopping on a 24 hour flight, home.
I’m glad I am not hungover. I am starting off the year right. But, before closing off the regrets of 2013 – I wanted to note the things that I did learn.
I learnt to let go of a relationship that was toxic for me. Having spent a lot of time and energy on one person, I find it hard to let go. I did. And that is one more thing that I have overcome.
I learnt to be comfortable with a man, as a friend.
I learnt the meaning of hard work. Yes, I worked hard in my first year in Korea – 35 hour teaching lessons a week and a boss that was less than accommodating – but this year, i truly stretched my knowledge as a teacher, or rather, an ESL teacher (hopefully that will transcend when I am teaching back home). I learnt to work with a difficult boss, yet at the end of the day, she only made me a better teacher – even though I feel her motives were not to make me better, but rather train me to do the work that she did not want to do herself.
I learnt that I now value the peace and serenity of a quiet town. Moving from a small town to the city, living down town, I feel anxiety and I feel claustrophobic.
I learnt to be conscientious about the way that I look. I no longer live with the wool covering my eyes, oblivious to food choices thinking that it will not make a difference to my quality of life. I have been hard on myself, but I would rather live this way, than wafting through life, barely living, doing things that were bad for me and not feeling remorse for them.
So, I still stand by my choice saying that 2013 was not a good year, I am walking away with some new skills and knowledge that will hopefully following me into this new year, as well as many more to come. I hope to grow more as a person, become more proud and happy with myself thus leading to me make good and healthy decisions.
Happy New Year.