I Can Hide Here

I’m lonely and I’ve put myself in the situation where I could and possibly do feel rejected. The smallest things give the biggest blows.

When I am at work, I want to be home. When I am home, I want to be elsewhere. During the week, I want the weekend. When it’s the weekend, I am bored. I act out carelessly and when I realise it, It is Monday and I am exhausted.

I want to talk and I want companionship, but I don’t want a single person to see me. I think I don’t want to be seen. I feel like I have failed myself and my body to the point where I don’t want to be seen.

Back to the point where I know I need to do something but too lazy to do a damn thing. Where does that leave me now? Back to the point where I can lead a mediocre life pretending life is good and I am happy with myself, as was done for 24 years of my life.

For two years, I have wanted home – in three months, I go. And now, what? I don’t really want to go. I can hide here.

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2 thoughts on “I Can Hide Here

  1. Hi,there! I read your blog and realized I can relate in so many ways. We are so sure of what we want sometimes and yet when we get it, we wonder why we wanted it in the first place. I hope you find your happiness.

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