Out of Control

I am simply, put out, of control. I’ve lost control over my eating, routine, my health and commitment. I cannot believe I am back in this place. After taking a new turn in which I felt good about myself, did everything in a way that was healthy for me and took pride in myself, I feel like I am that girl that I had been for 24 years of my life – Lost, overweight, not caring about weight, eating or exercise. How did I get back here?

Not all is lost, I still have that desire, I still incorporate good foods in my diet at least 85% of the time and I do go to the gym, I just spend the other 15% of the day getting take out and not exercising. I am back the point where I get fast food nearly every day and my body is getting used to it. Before, I would feel sick after that food – now, I can eat it and still more. This makes me so sad.

There are many factors which played in a role in this, but I do not want to sit and name them. The truth is, they are all excuses. The only valid reason I can sit here and type, is that it’s me. It is only my fault that I have lost my commitment and fire to lose this weight. Where did I go wrong? How do I get it back?

Hate feeling this way, I am so out of control with my life right now.

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