In Dire Need of Calm of Clarity.

I am utterly exhausted today. Mentally and emotionally. I spent one to two hours crying so hard, that I’m embarressed to see my neighbour. I know that this space is for my rantings, but I just don’t feel like going into the details of last night. In short, I had a massive fight with a friend that almost ended our friendship followed by an intense talk. Feelings of guilt regarding me not being able to attend my best friend of almost 20 years’ wedding (it is in South Africa, and I do not have holiday at that time), and then some words which I took to heart, even though they were only said with the best intentions. I just felt overwhelmed yesterday.

My future scares me a lot and it’s coming to the time where I need to make a big decision. It’s making me petrified and anxious. It’s so easy when people tell you that you’ll make the right decision. I know I need to sit down and make a pros and cons list. I feel like my head is so cloudy right now. I feel like I don’t ever get that moment of absolute calm and clarity where I can breathe and write.

Tomorrow is a holiday, and honestly it could not have come at a better time. After last night, I need some rest.


Published by

Korea, Love and Longing

South African with a passion for writing, photography... and nothing much else. I travel the world in order to find the country I like the best. Four years in South Korea makes me a winning survivor of Google translate and charades. Currently, living in Spain. - Love

2 thoughts on “In Dire Need of Calm of Clarity.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s