A few weeks ago, my best friend told me that she was taking a break from eating well and exercise because she’d associated eating bad food with feelings of guilt. I didn’t quite understand it when she told me that, yet found myself feeling those exact same feelings a little while later.
I moved cities just under two months ago, to a busy and bigger city. I am central downtown which means lots of restaurants, including many western places like KFC, TGI Friday etc. I live opposite the McDonalds, for heavens sake. A blessing and a curse!
My best friend and I had grown up together, and we were both overweight as children. She’s gone on to lose a lot of weight by eating well and exercise and she is my inspiration. We talk on Skype at least once a week and talk about our eating and feelings and generally, we motivate and inspire one another.
Last Friday, I had my cheat meal as normal – McDonalds and decided that I, too, would take the weekend off from eating bad food here and there and feeling guilty about it. I’d spent the last two or so weeks eating really well all day, but then dipping into nachos and salsa at night and it made me feel bad. So, I took the weekend off and ate whatever I liked in large quantities. My guy friend was over for the weekend and when he saw what I’d eaten he said I’d “gone into the deep end”, which actually wasn’t very nice. No one really understands my relationship with food. Not even me, at times.
The weekend of eating badly extended to the entire week. Eating food from a bakery for breakfast and lunch and take out for dinner. I’d wanted to try many of the restaurants around here and used this week as an opportunity to try them, and get it out my system. Not only did I want to get it out my system, I was feeling overwhelmed with how busy my life has become. I work very hard at work, then it’s gym, cooking for dinner and lunch the next day, dishes, washing and then it’s bed time already. I wanted to take the time to come home, have a few hours to relax and not worry about dishes and cooking!
It’s now Sunday night and I wanted to reflect on this past week.
I literally cannot believe I ever lived a lifestyle similar to this past week. I felt tired and sluggish most of the week, even though I’d gotten enough sleep. It reminded me how I felt at work for the entire year before changing my lifestyle. I always just assumed that was normal. I felt overly full every night and went to bed feeling uncomfortable. I threw up on two separate occasions.
All in all, I am glad I had this experience. it opened my eyes to a lot of things. I got it all out my system and am SO ready to start this week off right again with eating and exercise. Feeling very motivated and excited.