My posts have been more sporadic lately, I’ve been spending some time thinking about and doing my new blog lifefollowsyou.wordpress.com – kind of like a pay-it-forward project – go check it out.
It’s now been one month since I started my lifestyle change. I have been going to the gym 6/7 days a week and I am actually enjoying it. I lost 2 kg this week, the total being 9.3 kg in my first month. Feeling very proud of that number. My new goal is to lose 6 kg in my second month.
I was faced with a bit of silliness on Friday night when I decided to go out alone. I traveled almost two hours to get there, and it only made me realize one thing – I was the most unhappy that I had been all week when I started drinking. I made a small mistake, which made me feel bad and guilty most of yesterday, but have decided that today is a new day and I am no longer acting on what happened. I also have realized that I don’t want to drink again this weekend coming up, and when I do decide to, it’s only fun when it’s with some friends, not alone.
As I type this, I have Pink – Sober playing. This song has been so real for me the last week or more. It’s on my gym playlist and while I am working out, I hear “How do I feel this good sober?” and I feel that way right now. I am actually happy.
Another line which makes sense to me is “I am falling and if I let myself go, I’m the only one to blame” – as I’ve said, this time is about me. I am closing myself off from anyone who could potentially hurt me and with whom I can lose myself with, because it will hinder all of my progress and it will take me on yet another emotional roller coaster. I don’t condone it, I just know that it’s not for me, right now. And that’s fine.
Have a wonderful Sunday, everyone. x