Finally Ready

I’ve finally found the missing link standing in between my ability to merely breathe and to be alive. I’ve spent a lot of time complaining about the fact that I don’t do any extra-curricular activities and then proclaim that there isn’t really anything I can do, especially during the week.

Sometimes, I get these surges of desire to go out and do something cultural. I’ll look up Korean Tourism and decide that everything is too far to do during the week and thus end up at home, watching TV shows and going to bed. The truth is, I haven’t been this happy since I first starting dating my ex.

I’ve been on my diet now for almost four weeks. I’ve made a complete lifestyle change because for me, it wasn’t just about losing weight, it was about getting my body and my mind healthy. I have to say – I am loving it. I feel as though everything I do now is wonderful instead of a chore. The foods that I was eating before aren’t nearly as tasty as the ones I am eating now and it feels good to say that. I feel like I have chosen the best possible time of my life to make this change because I live alone, in a country where I am not tempted to eat out with family and friends every day. I am not faced with tough choices to make regarding food as when I live at home or with someone else. I am accountable for myself, I cook for myself and I spend more time with myself than with anyone else.  Before, I lived at a University res – didn’t have my own kitchen, my own money, my own transport and before that, living at home. Of course my family always wanted the best for me, and everyone else – but there are far more temptations back home than there are here.

Having said that, I have recently taken out a gym contract. I signed up last Friday and have been going every day, except Sunday. My goal is to push myself, and although I am unfit, I take that as a challenge to see how far I can actually push through. It’s a small gym, the owner is a nice guy and there are about five Korean people there at all times. I feel less intimidated there than I would at any gym back home. The bus that takes me home from work also stops right in front of it so I pack my bag the night before and head over there after work.

I’ve ordered three new books – one, a motivational autobiography about a young girl who lost a lot of weight and her journey, a book about basic nutrition and another about getting your head right about losing weight. I cannot wait until they arrive – again, strengthening my mind.

Yesterday was a great day. I ate really well, and after work I did almost 50 minutes on the tredmill without stopping at a generally high-walking speed. I felt accomplished by the end of it. I felt a slight burn in my legs after 20, but pushed through it. After the gym, I went to the shop and bought new and healthy foods that I can play around with. When I got home, I cooked a rad healthy meal and watched my TV shows. I was so exhausted, I was in bed before 10, falling asleep just before 11.

Everyday, I get 8 hours of sleep, drink 2 litres of water, exercise for 40-50 minutes and eat healthily. I am proud of  myself. I found myself telling a friend on Sunday that I was happy my ex was out of my life. I didn’t think I was capable of saying that yet. If it weren’t for it ending, I wouldn’t of started writing, reading, exercising, eating healthily, putting emphasis on only me and testing my self-control by deactivating my Facebook – which then lead me to further focus on myself by deactivating my dating profiles. I feel good.


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