The day finally arrived. The day that, eight months ago, I was dreading. A day that, four months ago, couldn’t come sooner and today, the day that holds a lot for me, symbolically.

Today, the first guy that I have given my heart to, left the country. It’s not a rare occasion in Korea. Every foreigner’s journey here is usually temporary. Many friends come and go and soon, that’ll be me too.

But, eight months ago I met someone here that helped me experience an array of new emotions, ones that were good and ones that were bad but feelings and experiences that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I progressed as a human so much with him, and learnt new things, overcame fears and became the person that I was desperate to be.

It sounds a bit ridiculous that I see him as a symbol. When I see him, I think of how proud I am of myself. I feel that, now that he is gone, perhaps the symbol of my progress is going, too.

Just eight months ago, we both dreaded this day because we knew we’d have to end things and so we did, before the clock ran out. Later, it was the date that I had in my head because we had stopped talking and he had broken my heart and it was the date where I felt I’d be happy again.

Now, it’s a sad day. It’s somber and weird because this day held so many difference emotions throughout the last year.

It’s surprising how life unfolds itself. It never ceases to amaze you just how much things can change so quickly or even at all.


3 thoughts on “Symbolism

  1. So interesting to start reading some of your entries. I also have anxiety and remember what it was like to battle it during my time in Daegu. A lot of this takes me back, losing people because you’re in a temporary place.

  2. I think being lonely is anxiety’s best friend – you have lots of time to think and over analyze everything. It’s tough, but I am trying new ways to keep busy in a constructive way. I find that I am the most anxious when I am dating someone, so that’s, again, why I am taking some time out for myself.

    The goodbye thing really does suck – and to think that just about everyone that comes into your life here, will leave Korea. Ahh, hate it.

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