Someone I know passed away today. My friend called me in tears, telling me the news. I didn’t know him well, but it really sparked an emotion within me. I have been fortunate to not have anyone close to me die, but it still shatters me to hear something like this.
Having heard this news made me think a lot about something that I said recently. Something I have said more than once. I had been done a wrong, and I had been hurt really badly. I’m still hurting and I said nasty things. I wish death upon someone in quite an inhumane way and I think I actually wanted it to happen.
I find myself sitting here asking for forgiveness. I feel awful for having said those things. Regardless of what was done to me, it was horrible and unacceptable for me to say those things – to myself or to others. I guess I’ve realised that, whether this person feels bad about what happened or not, I forgive what happened and I do only wish the best for said person. It’s hard to say that, and I would be lying if I said I meant it 100% but I am working on it. It hurts, I am still so sore from hurting.
I guess I just want to ask God for forgiveness for these impure and evil thoughts that I have thought and said out loud. I’m sorry, please forgive me.