It’s happened. Gangnam Style was on repeat earlier and I got up and danced. This is disturbing and great at the same time. Disturbing, because for the last month I’d been complaining about how ridiculous that song is. Great, because – I danced. I’ve been feeling so terrible for the last week, I couldn’t even listen to music (this has never happened to me before). It either made me sad, or just pissed me off.
If you’ve been following my life for the last week, you would know that I had somewhat of a decision to make last night (last post – Friday Confessions and Temptations). I make it sound so dramatic, but it really wasn’t. My heart is healing, and I didn’t know if I should see a guy (a fellow South African, also an English teacher) and possibly do something I may regret. I didn’t know if that would be good for me, yet I didn’t want to be alone. It was a Friday night, the first weekend being broken up with my boyfriend and I thought my ex would probably be out having fun, getting up to nonsense and I just did not want to think about that.
I saw the guy. I tried to call him in the evening, of which he didn’t answer. He called me back later, admitting to have been sleeping. He came over to my place at 11:30pm, and by that stage I was already a little tipsy (I’m lying, I was drunk). He came here, and I smiled awkwardly a lot of the time not knowing what to say. We spoke a little about my break up and how I am not in a good place right now. He hugged me, which was the first hug I’d received during all of this. It was awkward, but l appreciated that hug so much. He told me that I looked pretty and suggested we go to the one and only foreigner bar in our town (which is so small). He gave me W10 000 (about $10) because he knew that I was broke, which was also great of him. So, we took a cab there (I told him I’d only go if we took a cab, because I was lazy) even though it’s about a ten minute walk. The place was more busy than the last few weeks had been, but as it’s that time of the year – where many English teachers go home and new ones come in, there were new faces. I recognized a guy that I went to school with, so that was pretty great. And, I spoke to some new girls. All in all, a success until I tried to find my phone and it was not in my bag. I made a drunken fuss about it, crying (hopefully not at the bar!) where the manager was calling it insistently and looking through all the seats for me. It wasn’t found, but this is Korea – cell phones just don’t get stolen. The guy and I decided to leave, and took a cab to my place.
When we arrived, my phone was laying there on my bed, After feeling like an idiot, I either cried or sat there in desperation or stupidity or even just drunkenness. I can’t remember, truthfully. It could of been all of the above. He stood there and told me he was going back to the bar. I think I wanted him to stay, and sleep next to me but he didn’t and at the end of the day, whatever his motives were, I am so happy for the outcome.
I feel good (and a little stupid) about last night because I got to have some fun, I went out for the first time all week and I did not do anything I would regret today. I also can’t say that had he tried something, it wouldn’t of happened – but why worry about things that could of happened, but didn’t.
I am grateful towards him for coming to my place, getting me to go out, giving me a hug, giving me some emergency money for the night, taking me home and leaving to go back to the bar. I had been in a similar situation with him before, where he put me to bed and left again, so that he could try hook up with a girl and if that’s what his motives were last night – good for him. He didn’t take advantage of the drunk girl and he looked after me.
I suppose there are some good apples out there, girls.